Has Unresolved Conflict Interrupted My Worship?

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Matthew 5:23-24

In the movie called “Straight Story,” based on an actual event, a 73-year-old man named Alvin Straight decided it was time to end the silence and break down the wall of anger between him and his brother that had been up for ten long years. Because he was too impaired to drive a car, he decided to drive his riding lawn mower 300 miles from Iowa to Wisconsin to make things right with his brother. It took him six weeks to get to his brother.

Peacemaking is messy business. But Jesus has suggested for us few steps for us to take when we have tension in a relationship. Jesus says that when we have come for worship we need to leave even when it is inconvenient. 

We need to pause in our praise until we are at peace.  Peacemaking takes precedent over praising. God through Prophet Amos 5:21-24 tells it powerfully: “I hate, I despise your religious feasts; I cannot stand your assemblies. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!” Here’s the principle: gifts derive their value from the heart of the giver.

Not only are we to leave the place of reverence but we need to go and find the place of reconciliation with the one we’ve wronged. The verb tense here suggests an intense effort. It’s so easy to think that the other person should take the first step. Notice the word “first” before the word “go.” This means first in order of importance. The priority in peacemaking is to resolve everything right away. Ideally, we should run into the person we’re in conflict with, because if they’re doing it right, they’ll be coming to us. But even when they don’t show, we are still required to go.

In this passage, Jesus does not mention the responsibility of the other person to restore the relationship. He puts it squarely on you and on me. Why? Because our relationships test our righteousness.

Jesus says it is only after this reconciliation has taken place that we are to come and offer our gift to God. Reconciliation is important enough to interrupt our worship of God because unresolved conflict has already interrupted our worship. A right relationship with God depends on our willingness to maintain a right relationship with one another.

For most of us the first step to leave might be pretty easy but to go to our fellow brother or sister and be reconciled and then coming back again to worship might be difficult. This is what Jesus was challenging the so called righteous of that time and the same challenge is applicable to us too. 

Reconciliation is difficult. I was searching for some practical steps and found Seven A’s of Reconciliation.

1. Address everyone involved (All those whom you affected
2. Avoid if, but, and maybe (Do not try to excuse your wrongs)
3. Admit specifically (Both attitudes and actions)
4. Acknowledge the hurt (Express sorrow for hurting someone)
5. Accept the consequences (Such as making restitution)
6. Alter your behavior (Change your attitudes and actions)
7. Ask for forgiveness (Request release from the debt)

Dear Friends this Lenten Season can we make sure we’ve done everything that depends on us to do to be reconciled with our fellow brothers and sisters? Let us ask God to give us the power to take the first step in the process of reconciliation.

May God help us in this difficult and challenging endeavor. God Bless you.